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Friday, December 12, 2025
Tuesday, December 9, 2025
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BAŞKA BİR HAYATTA NE GÖRDÜM
(Rus metninden ve Sırp keşişi Arhimandrit Stefanos’un “Dünyanın Sonu” adlı kitabından)
“Bir insan öldüğünde, ruhu hareketsiz bedeninin üzerinde dolaşır ve şöyle der:
‘Anne, nasıl oluyor da şimdi ikiyiz, oysa önce yalnızdım?’ Her ruh, insan yaşarken sahip olduğu şekle sahiptir ve tanıdık ruhlar tarafından tanınır…”
GERÇEK BİR HİKÂYE
Ben ateisttim. Tanrı’ya korkunç şekilde küfrederdim. Utanç ve fuhuş içinde yaşıyordum ve sanki yeryüzünde ölü gibiydim. Ancak merhametli Tanrı beni tamamen kaybolmaya bırakmadı ve beni tövbeye yönlendirdi.
1962’de kansere yakalandım ve üç yıl hasta kaldım. Yatakta yatmadım, çalıştım ve doktorlara gittim, iyileşmeyi umuyordum. Son altı ay aşırı zayıfladım, su bile içemez oldum. İçtiğim anda kusuyordum.
Beni hastaneye götürdüler ve Moskova’dan bir profesör çağırdılar. Karnımı açar açmaz, bir şey oldu ve anında öldüm.
Ruhum bedenimden çıktı ve iki doktorun arasında duruyordu. Açılmış bedenime korku ve dehşetle bakıyordum. Midem ve bağırsaklarım tamamen kanserle kaplanmıştı.
Kendi bedenime bakıp düşünüyordum: “Nasıl iki kişiyiz?”
Ruh diye bir şeyin varlığını bilmiyordum. Komünistler bize ruhun ve Tanrı’nın olmadığını, bunun halkı korkutmak için uydurulduğunu öğretmişti.
Doktorlar tüm iç organlarımı çıkardılar. Her şey çürümüştü. Sağlıklı hiçbir şey kalmamıştı.
“Bunun yaşayacak bir şeyi yokmuş…” dediklerini duydum.
Bedenimi morga götürdüler. Mermerin üzerine çıplak yatırdılar, boynuma kadar çarşafla örttüler.
Bir süre sonra kardeşim geldi ve altı yaşındaki küçük oğlumu getirdi. Adı Andruşka idi. Oğlum bedenime yaklaştı, başımdan öptü ve ağladı:
“Anne, neden öldün? Ben daha küçüğüm, sensiz nasıl yaşarım?”
Ona sarıldım ama beni görmedi. Sadece bedenimi gördü.
Evime gittim. Annem, kız kardeşim ve kayınvalidem eşyalarımı paylaşmaya başladılar. Zengin yaşıyordum ama param haksızlık ve fuhuştandı. Kız kardeşim her şeyi aldı. Kayınvalidem oğlum için bir şey istedi ama reddedildi.
Tartışırlarken etraflarında sevinçle dans eden şeytanları gördüm.
Kendimi havada hissettim. Yükseliyordum. Barnaul şehrinin üzerinde durdum sonra karanlığa düştüm. Sonra çok güçlü bir ışık geldi.
Siyah bir levhanın üzerindeydim. Dev ağaçlar ve yeni evler vardı ama hiç yüz yoktu.
“Burası neresi?” diye düşündüm.
MERYEM ANA’NIN ŞEFAATİ
Kraliyet elbiseleri giymiş çok güzel bir kadın ve yanında ağlayan genç birini gördüm. Meğerse bu, vaftizimde bana verilen koruyucu meleğimmiş. Benim kurtuluşum için Meryem Ana’ya yalvarıyordu.
Kadın göğe bakarak dedi ki:
“Rab, bu kadın bu haliyle nereye gidecek?”
Titremeye başladım. Öldüğümü anladım.
Bir ses dedi:
“Onu babasının iyi işleri hatırına dünyaya geri gönderin.”
Başka bir ses dedi:
“Onun hak ettiği yeri ona gösterin…”
CEHENNEM
Bir anda cehenneme düştüm. Ateş saçan yılanlar üzerime geldi. Kalın kurtlar kulaklarıma, gözlerime, burnuma girdi. Koku dayanılmazdı.
Orada kürtajdan ölen bir kadın gördüm. Ona şöyle denildi:
“Çocukları öldürdün, ama Benim katımda gereksiz hiçbir şey yoktur!”
Bana şöyle dendi:
“Sana tövbe etmen için hastalık verdim ama bana küfrettin. Dünyada bensiz yaşadığın gibi burada da bensiz yaşayacaksın!”
Sonra kiliseyi gördüm. Beyaz giymiş bir rahip çıktı.
“Onun hakkında kötü konuştun ama o benim sadık hizmetkârımdır” denildi.
“ARTIK BİZE AİTSİN”
Yine cehenneme döndüm. Şeytanlar geldi:
“Dünyada bize hizmet ettin, artık bizimsin!”
Etrafımda deforme olmuş ruhlar vardı. Bana dediler:
“Biz de dünyadayken tövbe etmedik, şimdi buradayız.”
Sonra Meryem Ana tekrar göründü. Ruhlar bağırdı:
“Bizi bırakma!”
O dedi:
“Hayattayken tövbe etmediniz, size yardım edemem. Sadece sizin için Kilise dua ederse yardım edebilirim.”
BEDENİME DÖNÜŞ
Meryem Ana beni tekrar dünyaya gönderdi. Morgdaydım.
Kendi kendime: “Şimdi bedenine dön” dedim.
Aniden ışık yandı. Hemşireler korktu. Doktorlar geldi, beynimi ısıttılar. Vücudumda sekiz kesi vardı. Gözlerimi açtım.
On iki gün sonra konuşabildim. Oruç günü olduğu için yemek yemeyi reddettim.
Doktorlara ruhumun gördüklerini anlattım.
Tekrar ameliyat ettiler. İç organlarım tamamen sağlıklıydı.
Doktorlar şaşırdı.
Ben dedim:
“Tanrı bana merhamet etti ki yaşadıklarımı anlatayım.”
Saturday, December 6, 2025
Saint Porphyrios
В какой-то момент, совершенно неожиданно, святой Порфирий сказал следующее, что
произвело на нас большое впечатление. А потом вы услышите по телевизору. Они украли карту Герасима.
Они пошли в банк и сняли все его деньги.
Через некоторое время они скажут это снова. Они взяли карту такого-то и украли все его
деньги. И это будет повторяться снова и снова.
Но все, что они будут говорить, будет ложью.
Затем они скажут вам, что для предотвращения кражи вашей карты вы должны поместить
на ней свой личный номер и свои данные. То есть запечатать ее, и
никто больше не сможет ее у вас украсть. Это решит проблему. Таковы
их планы. Мы на некоторое время потеряли дар речи. Никто
не говорил. Я думал о том, что сказал старейшина. Какие невероятные
вещи он нам сейчас рассказывает. Остальные думали о том же, потому что в 1982 году
казалось невероятным, что у всех нас будет карта со всеми нашими данными. Личность,
репутация, банковская книжка и т. д. Я молюсь, чтобы Бог просветил нас и
дал нам силу не получать эту карту. Аминь.
Ακούστε το έχει ενδιαφέρον -Listen, it's interesting.
I did well for God. Yes, but I heard what happened. So I went with two
other friends and they went to take communion.
And when I got close, the elder said he forbade me to take communion.
I told the elder, I am Orthodox because I am, you are black, he said.
You have not yet cleansed yourself to go and be baptized and then take communion.
This surprises me. Where did he discern that there was such a crowd? That this elder discerned
that I was not capable of taking communion, and I discussed it with him, and he told me that
the papists do not come back with money only with baptism because they do not
have sacraments. So I searched, he said anxiously, I went to
many parishes here in the archdiocese and in other metropolises, and no
priest would take the responsibility to baptize me.
He said I want to be baptized to become an Orthodox canon. The elder told me I'm not
normal with the use of the word. Well, I tell him, let's see what we'll do.
So, at that moment, a monk, a friend of mine, comes to mind.
I call him. I tell him, "Grandpa, I say, do you know someone, I say, who
can baptize a young lad and then marry him off
to perform the sacrament of marriage Orthodoxly?"
Because he only wanted to do it the Orthodox way for himself. He thought, he says to me, "I know
someone." He suggested someone who is a priest here in Athens
and secretly baptized the lad. The wedding took place, and the children and their children were baptized too, sorry. Orthodox now.
A whole festival was held. There is a sequel to the thing.
The man purified himself in old age. So at some point, he went to a
monastery to worship, and they started a conversation there with the old abbot
about the events, and he told him, an enlightened old man,
You will go to the Vardousia Mountains. Listen, look, you say, you will not go to fight. He
tells him, We are not, he says, how many of us are colleagues? He says, I see you, a priest.
Pay attention to his development. I see you, he says, a priest,
and I see you gathering a lot of people, and you are not a priest, only these things, he says, that you have lived
enough to say, where did he know? The abbot had not told him anything about the young man
coming to Athens, who was a minister every Sunday in the church and
on holidays; he came with his family several times. At some point,
he was a bishop, I will not say the church, a holy bishop here, who is a fighter,
a bishop, a hard worker, and
He was left at the end of his life to take the antideros, and he says, Come, my father, he calls him. He is surprised; he thought someone was behind
him. Come, he says, you will quickly become a priest.
Second
sentence. I asked him how it is possible, I said it will
happen. He said he was cleansed by baptism. He is clean now. He has no
sins. He has no priesthood attachments.
Two people, unknown to him, told him twice. It was the first time he had seen them
that he would become a priest. I am now waiting to see if he will be confirmed about it. However,
his whole life is moving towards that. It is prayer. He is with the psalter in
his hands, with the gospel, with the hymns of our church. Let's see.
God will show. Why did I tell you this? So that you can see that we, as Orthodox, have no
connection with the papists. So in Kolymbari in 2016, the
Patriarch may have done this tumbling, the somersault, let me put it this way so you
understand, and bowed there to the Pope, he says, recognizing
the papists this religious community as a religious community. How is the
church there, he did a somersault, that is, he nullified
the symbol of the Patriarch's faith, he recognized with the historical one, he says, which
historical one is being played, he mocks God, he mocks God, you can
mock me 1 million times, you don't mock God, the patriarch
was recognized, he says, with the historical meaning of the word church, the and other
confessions and the Protestants too, to bring unity,
that is, to bring the pan-religious. The patriarch had told me personally, and he cannot deny me in 1996-97 when I was at the traffic light. He tells me
theological dialogues as Demetriados boasts now because he says that with the
dialogues, we will find the issues. What did the patriarch himself tell me, theological
dialogues lead nowhere, he says. Because the professors say they have obstacles
and they don't see it, he says they see the tree and not the forest. And the forest
is unity. That's why he says we will follow a different tactic. What is the
tactic they will follow? The tactic they will follow will
be to become, so to speak, a family, and within the same family, within
this family, to solve our problems and reach the common cup.
But they have reached the common cup. The Pope and Athenagoras made the
union Masonic. Both Masons
were initiated by the lodges. And the Pope said in the infamous. Now he says what
we both did and united our churches, that's what the Pope told him.
Now let's see how we will convey it, and the people will accept it.
A former friend of mine also told him on TV on Ert, because he can't
stand as a friend, professor, what he said not to step on it, he says like at the
The Ferrara summit, where the people reacted and didn't pass a historic
agreement that had been made in Ferrara. What are you saying, you idiot, to put it that way? What are you talking about, you
idiot? He was talking about the historic agreement of the Sferara union on ERT, that is, he took out the
Saint of the Saints when he didn't sign
Saint Mark the Nobleman, who didn't, and others who didn't. Saint Mark didn't sign,
I think, but he took out two others as useless
because he says the people didn't accept it. Now, he says we have to tell the people to accept
the unity, so God won't allow these things, and
the patriarch will face very hard events. He hadn't received the messages before, and
he continues this fiddle as if he has a hard heart like Pharaoh. Now
God will take him because God will clean his field based on the hundredth psalm. He won't
let him. He will change things, and he won't change them so that the other
archbishop can come and become patriarch, the archbishop, the hope-killer.
I wanted to say the hope-bearer in America. No. He won't do it for that.
He will do it so that someone better will come.
They will have problems at the traffic light. Turkey will also have problems. Why will you
tell me? Because the Pope also went to the presidential palace and saw Erdogan.
You saw where the Pope goes, disaster follows, and he even laid a
wreath on who, the slaughterer of Christians, Kemal.
He also reached this point. Well, you understand that we will have many
events. You see that the war in Ukraine is not being resolved. Ozelski
is trying to transfer the events elsewhere. He is hitting Kazakhstan, in the
jury, it has already started, he has gone crazy.
He is creating a front all over the world. Those who are not with him are his enemies.
He is hitting ships from here and there. And that is why you should know that we will have quick
events in Turkey as well. I believe that Erdogan is counting days now, not months,
days. Let me be proven wrong. I wish I could be proven wrong because with Erdogan, Greece
has no enemies. But NATO cannot proceed to a
war with Russia without completely securing Turkey. And
right now, Erdogan is stepping with one foot in Russia and the other in
America or NATO. Take it that way. I want the game to be clear. That is why
we will have events in both Turkey and with the Patriarch. Don't
forget what Elder Galaktia used to say. Elder Galaktia used to tell us in 2021 that we should
fall on our knees like Pappoulis and pray for the
Patriarch, she says. Because she saw him being massacred at the traffic light by the gray
lykes. I hope it doesn't happen. The question said to pray that
God would prevent it. But with what is happening, it is as if this is what he is seeking. And when they asked
why this was done, the poor thing couldn't speak. But
we understand. Why was it done? Because with martyrdom, like Chrysostom
of Smyrna, many sins and rights are erased. And the Patriarch says,
because an elder told me, he has canonized many saints, these
saints intercede for the salvation of his soul. Saint James, Tzalikis
of all. Some say that Saint James said that.
Bartholomew should become Patriarch. He says that Bartholomew should become patriarch and
put the monks there, and confirms it. And Christ took Judas,
I will say. But Judas became a traitor. Christ, how did Saint James see
Bartholomew, but Bartholomew has also betrayed Orthodoxy.
Friday, December 5, 2025
“It’s worth listening to.”
Итак, в этот страшный час, с приближением субботы, Святой Дух приходит и претворяет хлеб в тело Христово, а жидкость – в кровь Христову. Введение наших грехов и вечную жизнь. То есть, чтобы заслужить нас без вины. Это означает введение грехов. Чтобы иметь жизнь небесного богослужения. То есть, каждый человек, который умирает, и мы идем и плачем там, где его пантеон. Если он человек, к которому Бог проявляет милость за его благость, за его прощение, за его милостыню и за любое другое добро, которое он сделал, он идет на небесное богослужение. Нищий сказал: «Я снова говорил тебе это». Бедная женщина собиралась забрать своего ребенка. Ее десятилетний ребенок из школы. Его звали Андреас. Андреас было его настоящее имя. Он подождал, и ребенок увидел свою мать, которая была на противоположном тротуаре, и подпрыгнул. Из-за ребенка едет машина. Ребенка бросают на нее. Он упал ей в туфли. Десятилетний мальчик погиб. Так или иначе, он пришёл ко мне и сказал: «С таким зятем это знак Лемена. Он говорит мне: „Будь осторожен, расскажи мне“», – и многим, кто посылал меня к тебе. Если ты не наполнишь мою душу тем, что собираешься мне сказать, я пойду и покончу с собой. Представьте, что чувствовал в тот момент бедный неофит. Он плакал, он говорил мне, он говорил мне, он говорил мне. Я, который внутри себя говорил: „Христе мой, просвети меня“. Мне нужно сказать только одно слово. Да наполнится душа этой радостной матери. Ну, как ты вскричал в тот миг, так что же моя речь? Это был портрет мышц матери. Моника купалась. Моя мать тоже потеряла сына. Я говорю, что ты потерял Андреаса. 10. Она потеряла его 24-го. И ты сказал это в известной истории, которую знаешь. Но Латис упал в объятия Христа, и теперь яблоня выросла, чтобы освятить её сына, умершего неисповеданным. Да простит его Христос мало-помалу и вознесёт к свету, и пусть он насладится небесным богослужением вместе с моим отцом, который был там до моего святого Николая. Тогда наша Стелла, мой зять Андреас, тоже уснула. Многие в моей семье. Все сейчас на небесном богослужении. Она встала; я только сказала ей это. Она подошла и преклонила колени перед портретом моей матери. Он поклонился ей и сказал женщине Божьей: «Бабушка Яблонька, пожалуйста, скажи Христу, чтобы он послал моего Андрея сказать мне слово, и пусть мой Андрей будет там, где твой Пётр». Она зовёт свою дочь Марию, которая сидит снаружи, ей пятнадцать лет. Мария, иди сюда; давай найдём то, что мы искали. Ты понимаешь, мы нашли Мессию. Я не Мессия. Своими разговорами она оскорбила Христа. Так что ничего мне не говори. Я не могу тебе сказать. Я говорю, ты рассказал ей про дёсны. Ты сделал это с яблоней. Единственное, о чём я прошу, – это чтобы было сделано то, о чём ты просила. Пусть Эндрю покажет тебе, где он. Моя дочь приезжает через четыре месяца. И что она мне говорит? Я видела Эндрю, её мёртвого десятилетнего ребёнка. «Я видела его, – говорит она, – но не могла разглядеть его лица». Они направили свет на птицу, и я не могла разглядеть её лица. Остальная часть меня говорит ему: «Я видела», и он говорит Андреасу: «Спускайся, Андреас, что ты там делаешь?» – он всё повторяет ему. Когда я прихожу, он говорит ей: «Как хорошо там подняться». «Мне хорошо. Что ты делаешь весь день, мама, и сегодня, и вечером?» – говорит он ей каждый день, при любом освещении. Знаешь, он говорит ей, что великий грядёт. И Христос сказал ей: Великий грядёт и будет трудиться. Ты – те, кто делает Моё дело. Мы вокруг Него, и через нас Его свет, и согласно сердцу, которое у нас было на земле, и твоими молитвами мы получаем свет и учимся, мама, по книгам, которые у меня были в школе. Ты так много читала, что мы узнали, говорит мама. Если я спущусь, он говорит моему малышу: «Покажи мне твоё лицо». Но одно, и это мешает свету Христа, чтобы ты мог видеть своё лицо, моё лицо, и слышать своими нечистыми глазами, мама, очисти свои глаза, и ты увидишь в следующий раз, и моё лицо будет слышно отсюда. Ты понимаешь, что происходит, потому что мы говорим, что Иисус воскрес из гроба и даровал нам вечную жизнь и великую милость. Так и вы все, Святой Дух претворяет хлеб и вино в тело и кровь Христа. Потому что у нас есть скамьи, как я сказал в Калогорици, с табуретками, а не скамьями. У франков есть скамьи, чтобы наблюдать за таинствами. Ты слышишь о нём скидку, и мы никогда не говорим, что отцы – это те, кто наблюдает, а не те, кто участвует. У нас есть скамьи со времен херувима, а после того хорошо имеющим ноги находиться на скамье стоя.
Wednesday, December 3, 2025
Saint Porfyrios
I often observe my child, the souls here from my poor cell, how they struggle and
are tortured. I see them like little birds caught in invisible nets, flapping
their wings in vain. And what is this net? It is the rules, the musts, the
hows, and the whys. They count the knots on the prayer rope as if they were counting the steps
that separate them from God. They recite the psalms as if they were reading
a list of obligations that they must fulfill to earn
his favor. They struggle to get up in the morning, they struggle with the heat in the evening, and at the
end of the day, they do not know the peace of Christ's presence. They feel only the
bitter taste of failure, their own failure. And I see their hearts
drying up, love becoming a habit and a habit. Weight. Let me tell you
something. In this observation, in this anguish that I see on
their faces, the same great, the same sweet secret is revealed to me every time.
People are trying to build a bridge to God, while He
is already standing next to them and extending His hand to them. Christ does not ask for bridges.
He asks that we give Him our own hand. It is so similar to what
you were telling me a moment ago here. In the semi-darkness that smells of incense and humble candles.
You told me the story of your fatigue. How the rosary became a pencil in
your fingers. How many prayers in the book became foreign words in your mouth? How
silence, instead of filling you with God, fills you with guilt.
And I see in your eyes, behind the tears, that you are trying to hide the
fear. The fear that God doesn't hear you, that He has abandoned you because you are not
doing things right, because you are not a good soldier of His. You ask me with anguish.
Elder, how will I manage? How will I learn to pray correctly?
Don't be upset, my love. Come closer. Listen. There is nothing to accomplish
and no lesson to learn. It is the simplest thing in the world. The most
natural. You have forgotten it. That is all. Your little soul has forgotten it. Tired of
the noise of rules. You ask me how you will transform your life into continuous
prayer without rules. But the question is wrong, my child. It is like
asking how you will make your heart beat or how you will order
your lungs to breathe. You do not do the prayer. You do not construct it with effort
and techniques. You let it happen. Prayer is not an act that
you perform. It is a state in which you live. It is not something you say to God,
but the air you breathe in his presence. And this presence is not
earned with rules. It is not measured with clocks. It is not imposed by force of
will. It is born effortlessly, like a flower that blooms in the soil of the heart, when
it is watered with only one thing: love, the delicate, discreet, tender
love for our Christ. This is the only key. All the others are
locks that we put on the door of our heart ourselves. So now we will
talk about this love. Not about rules, but about the love
that abolishes all rules and becomes the only rule.
My child, I often observe the souls here from my poor cell, how they struggle and are tortured.
I see them like little birds caught in invisible nets, flapping their wings in vain
. And what is the net, the thought that they must earn God's love
with their rules, prayers, and achievements. They think that prayer
is a list of musts that if they do not fulfill, Christ will
turn his back on them. My children, how much error and how much pain is hidden here.
I remember how many years ago a good soul came here. A devout woman
with her face torn from anguish. As soon as she sat down on the stool, she began to
cry profusely. "Elder," she tells me in
her sleep. "I'm lost. I can't keep up with my rule. I have children, a husband, a house,
and a job. By nightfall, I'm a rag. I try to stand up for the
greetings, for the vigil, for my rosary, but my eyes
close. I sleep standing up, and I feel so guilty. I feel like I'm betraying Christ, that
I don't love Him enough. Prayer, which was once a joy, has become
my greatest burden, a daily chore. And here's what's important for you to understand.
I looked at her with love and said, "My child, who put this
burden on you, Christ or your thinking? Do you see that little flower on your
flowerpot on the windowsill? You see how it is turned towards the sunlight.
Does anyone order it? Does anyone make it a rule to turn three times to the right and
five to the left? No. This, simply by its nature, by its very existence,
seeks the sun that gives it life. It does not try to turn; it simply turns.
So too the soul, prayer, my child, is not the words you will say or the
number of penances you will make. Prayer is the turning of the heart towards
God. It is this inner movement, this longing of the soul for
its creator, like the flower for the sun. Do not torture yourself with rules that
you cannot keep. Christ is not an accountant to count things; Lord,
have mercy. He is a father who longs for the love of his child. When you cook
for your family, this is not prayer. Do it with love and say within
yourself, my Christ, for your own glory I do this. When you go to work, and you get tired, say, My God, give me strength. When you see your children
playing and your soul rejoices, say, Glory to God for this gift.
When you drink a glass of cool water, thank the one who gave it to you. This
is the unceasing prayer. Connect your every action, your every thought, your every
breath with Christ, make him a participant in your life.
The rule is a step, not a prison. It is an aid for the
soul to learn to fly. But when your wings are tired, do not try to
jump off the step. Simply sit where you are and look with love towards
the sky. A single sigh of the heart. "My Christ, I love you," that
comes out of your fatigue and weakness, is worth more than
thousands of formal prayers that are said out of habit or fear. God does not
want slaves who carry out orders. He wants children who love him freely.
So leave the burdens and the precepts. Keep only this love, and you will see how
your whole life will slowly, without realizing it, become a continuous sweet
conversation with him. Many people think, my child, that prayer is a
list of rules and obligations. They think that God expects us to
stand for hours. To read specific psalms and
services, and if we omit something, he gets disappointed or angry.
However, this thought turns our relationship with Christ into a cold change in
constant struggle to win his favor, full of anxiety and guilt. But the truth
is very different. Christ, my brothers, is not an accountant who
keeps track of our prayers and repentances. He is the bridegroom of the
soul, the father, the loving one. Souls come here and ask me with
anguish. Father, I have lost my rule. I did not pray this morning. What should I do
I feel that God has abandoned me. And I answer them. And God, my child,
has been waiting for you all day to tell him at least one good morning.
True prayer is not the words that come from the lips, but the cry
that comes from the heart. Imagine a little child who wants to talk to
his father. He goes with formal words and reads from a book to
ask him for something or to tell him how much he loves him. Of course not. he runs into
his arms, mumbles his words, sometimes he cries, sometimes he laughs, and shows him
his drawing or his wounded knee. And the father rejoices not for
the child's eloquence, but for his trust, for the love that
makes him run to him for everything. That is how God wants us to be before
him. Like little children. The rule of prayer, the services, and the psalms
are valuable aids. They are like the trellis that we put in the small climate to
help it support itself and rise upwards, towards the light.
But when the climate strengthens, it spreads its rungs everywhere, embraces the
sun, lives and breathes in its light. So too for us, the rule is to
teach us the way. To give us the first words. But the purpose is to
learn to speak to God alone in our own words every moment. How is
this done? Very simply with the memory of God. When you wake up in the morning, before you even get up,
say glory to you, Lord, that you have made me worthy to see the light of the new day.
When you wash your hands, say within yourself, Lord, as my body is washed with
water, cleanse also my soul from all defilement.
You see a flower on the road, admire it, and say, Praise God for
your beauty. Someone is bothering you. Do not hold a grudge against them. Say it immediately. Lord
Jesus Christ, have mercy on me and have mercy on my brother, too. You feel afraid, whisper,
My Mother, cover me. Every action, every thought, every breath can become
a prayer. Words are not important, but the movement of the heart towards God.
This constant, effortless reference to Christ is an uninterrupted prayer.
It is like holding His hand constantly, all day long, in whatever
you do. So do not be afraid when you cannot keep the formulas. A
sigh from the depths of the heart, a thought, full of love for Christ,
is more precious than a thousand psalms said with the mind elsewhere. Let
your heart speak. He listens, always listens. I sometimes watch
people's attempts to pray, and my heart sinks.
I see how they stand before the icons. How they mumble words they have learned
by heart. How their bodies are focused, and their minds are wandering elsewhere.
I see them counting their penances, keeping track of the hours, following the
ritual with anxiety. It is as if God is a strict judge who awaits
their slightest mistake to reject them.
And then it becomes visible, dear ones, that the source of joy and life, which is
conversation with our Creator, is transformed into a heavy, soul-crushing obligation. The soul,
instead of flying, is imprisoned in golden cages of rules. Many people think,
my child, that prayer is a list of rules and obligations. They think that
God expects us to stand for hours, read
specific psalms, and adhere to a program with military discipline.
And if one day they don't make it out of fatigue or some need, they are filled with
guilt and anxiety. They think they have displeased him, that they have lost his favor.
But my dear, think about it, this is how a child speaks to his father with rules and a
program. No. The child runs to his father whenever he feels
the need. He runs when he is afraid, when he is happy, when he is in pain, when he simply wants
to feel his embrace. He doesn't think about whether it is the right time or whether he has the
right words. He simply opens his heart. That is what God wants from
us. Our heart. Not the demonstration of our piety. What worries
people's hearts is the fear that Christians are not right, that they are not
doing enough, and so instead of prayer being an act of love, it becomes an act
of anxiety. I remember a good and pious man who
once came to me in despair. An elder tells me that last night I fell
asleep and I didn't say my rule. I have lost my soul.
I looked at him with love and said to him, My child, God saw your tired body
and your good intention. The sleep He gave you was also a blessing,
a prayer for your body. God is not an accountant keeping records.
He is a father who rejoices when his children rest near him, even
if it means falling asleep in his arms. So real prayer
is not measured by the clock, but by love. It is not what you say, but how
you live it. When you wash the dishes and say to yourself, "Lord, as this
dish is clean, clean my soul." That is prayer. When you walk down the street
and see a flower and praise God for its beauty, that is
prayer. When you see a person suffering and your heart aches for
him, asking God to help him, that is the most powerful
prayer. Do not bind your soul. Let her breathe the air of God
in every moment. When you cook, when you work, when you talk to people
with love, when you forgive them, all these moments become an uninterrupted
conversation with him. God does not dwell only in churches and
prayer books. He dwells in the heart that loves him and seeks him in everything. This
constant remembrance of God, this tender turning of the heart towards him, is the
prayer that never ceases and that transforms the whole of life into a
doxology. You see, my child, we have reached the end of
our conversation. We began with your anxiety about the
rules, about the rosaries that you counted as a debt, about the psalms
that you whispered without your heart participating. We talked about the big mistake
that many people make in believing that God is a strict judge
who expects us to impress him with our performance in prayer.
They think they have to win his attention with hours of standing and
endless sequences. All of this, my child, is the indicator that
kept you away from him, the indicator of fear and obligation. But God
is not an accountant to keep track of your prayers and repentances.
He is a father. And a father does not ask his child for reports and
proofs. He asks for his heart; he longs for his company. This
continuous silent or loud conversation with him through your joys and sorrows, that is all that matters. Make him a part of
your every moment as you breathe, without thinking about it. That is why I want you to keep
only this in your soul as a final legacy.
When you wash the dishes, when you drive to work, when you watch your children
play, when you feel alone in the dark, know that turning your heart to
He, even for a moment, is the most powerful prayer. The cry of your soul,
my God, is an entire psalm. Your pain is your most sincere
confession, and your joy, your most brilliant praise. And know, my child, that He
always listens to you. He hears the beat of your heart that
seeks Him even when your lips are silent. He hears your fatigue,
your hope, your love. You don't need to prove anything to Him.
Your existence itself is a continuous conversation with Him. That's why I leave you with
just one exhortation. Listen to it well. Don't get tired of rules. Get tired of
loving. Get tired of showing patience to your fellow man. Get
tired of digging. Get tired of saying a good word. Get tired of
seeing Christ in the face of every person. Every time you get tired
like this, you will pray most truly. There lies the whole secret
in love. Only in love. Come on, my child. Go to God's prayer and never
forget. He is always there and listens to you. May his love
always be with you.
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